Life as of lately. 10.31.18
HAPPY HALLOWEEN darlings. I hope you guys celebrated with something fun this past weekend. This was the first year in awhile I didn’t dress up because it was one of good friends weddings. It was an incredible time and I am so happy for her and David! Peep some photos below.
Anyways, I wanted to give you all a little update since I haven’t written in awhile. Last month I know I was rethinking a lot of things for my life and I am still very much in the thick of a huge shift. Kind of riding the wave out and seeing what happens. I don’t feel planning is going to get me anywhere right now and trust me letting go of my plans for myself has been a little scary. I’m feeling into the fact that whatever is meant to happen will and trusting that. I have a guideline for what will happen for me in this next year, but letting the universe do it’s thing for me right now.
For the blog I am just writing when I can or when the inspo hits. There is so much I want to put out there, but sometimes my creative flow just isn’t there lately. Not sure what’s up. Anyways, life lately has been a lot of reframing work for me. Work has been a bit of a nightmare but finally getting better, keeping a positive outlook the best I can. I have never felt so depleted and it was weighing pretty heavy for me. I am slowly getting back into my groove with meditation and setting up space to just be with myself to feel more grounded. Do yall relate? How do you jump back into your own bodies? Bring you back? Would love to know.
Some exciting things have been happening for me on the personal front BUT I am not ready to share any of that yet. I am really just very happy with how everything has turned out lately and I feel like for once in my life I am not chasing after what’s next and just enjoying my now. I know for a long time I was always so anxious for the future and now I realize that whatever I do in the present moment is way more important. It is after all what shapes our future. I do have an idea of what I want my future to look like and finally feel like I know what my path is. I am also not being hard on myself that if I change my mind again I do. It’s 100000% okay to change your mind and evolve your career choices and being comfortable with that was hard for me. It’s always been ingrained in my head that you pick a career, stick with it, and that’s life. Let’s be honest though it’s not and I am okay with going after what I want, keeping my work ethic, and still investing in my future in a more non-traditional way. Traditional has never been my speed anyways and I let myself fall into a mindset where I felt the need to follow the norm. I am so glad I have broken that thought process, I am much happier this way.
It’s such a cliche to say this because young me def would roll her eyes, but the older you get you really truly start to understand what your parents would say on how we discover the adult world. Sometimes I think how weird it is to be 27. I don’t feel like an adult at all sometimes haha but I have accomplished A LOT and I am pretty proud of that. I know I still have a lot to learn about life but lately I have just been thinking how I am truly becoming my own person. I think around my 25th birthday is when I started to realize who I wanted to actually be and the labels, and things my family pressured on me started to fall away. I started to ask myself what I wanted and discover the deeper layers of myself and work on myself. 3 years later I feel I know myself better than I ever have, I trust my gut and others opinions or comments no longer hold heavy for me, I just feel free in my own skin. Like I truly am doing things for me now and not feeling guilty for it. Granted I still have a lot of growing to do, but it’s nice to not feel like I need someone else to help me decide what to do and I kinda don’t care what you think I should be doing because I know what is best for me now because I know me. It might sound weird and maybe I am not explaining it right, haha but I hope it does. I would love to have a conversation with any of you on this. I also realize if you are into astrology i’m very much in the beginning stages of my saturn return so maybe that’s the energy i’m starting to feel.
Okay I will leave this random post at that. I feel like I would just ramble at this point lol ADIOS :D
Xo,
Shay
