Self-care and Meditation

Okay let's talk self-care and meditation. This is a broad topic so right now I want to focus in on two things. That's connecting with yourself for one and then second- doing it through meditation. Let me start by saying there are SO many forms of meditation and connecting to yourself. This will always evolve which is 100% okay, you just need to find what works for you and let the rest be. I know for me it's a constant practice I need to hone in on and it changes with my mood and what I need for the day but I will share what I do. 

I want to start of by saying that I used to be the person who was always going. I would choose to lose sleep just to give myself the time to enjoy things I wanted because I was working myself ragged. I would work an extra day of work over hanging out with friends because I just knew if I just made more money and did this or did that to get myself to where I want, then I would have more time to do what I enjoyed. I was so wrong, but I worked and worked and honestly didn't really enjoy all that much of my life because I was missing it. Eventually about two years of doing this to myself I wasn't happy with where I was and I slowly started making small changes. I started taking baths almost daily and then incorporating one night a week to do a mask night and at the time color in those fun adult coloring books from Target lol. I started to slow down just a little bit and that's when I started to notice what I really needed. It's when I realized there was something that wasn't working for the life I envisioned and wanted for myself. Though generally speaking I was content with my life it wasn't the one I wanted to live. I didn't want to work all the time, I wanted to be with my friends, I wanted to travel more, I wanted to enjoy being outside, I wanted to read, and sooo much more. Granted I still work a lot now BUT I have a much more balanced approach to the way I am living and it's made a world of a difference.

I live in the Bay Area and as many of you probably know it's really expensive to be out here. Everyone honestly hustles because it's Silicon Valley and it's just what you have to do, but I have now learned that it's equally important to live mindfully even if you have to work as hard as most of us do. I see it all the time the burn out and the anger some people harbor, how in the past and in the future they are living. It was me. It used to be me. Hell sometimes it still is me because self-care is a forever thing and it's so much deeper than the superficial things we do like shopping or going out. Not that I knock those things by any means but it truly is so much more and there is no right or wrong in taking care of yourself. Please just always do! 

However when it comes to self-care you don't just implement it and then boom your life changes. It's a constant practice so don't beat yourself up if you don't always do it, but be in a place that you can drop yourself back into your current present body and be like okay slow down, breathe, and let life be for a minute, even if it is literally just for one minute. I feel confident saying that after some real work on figuring myself out I can tell when I am pushing too hard and can now let myself surrender and give myself extra love so I don't burn out. I also do not want to become a version of myself I don't like. I realize now it's more important in how you show up not just showing up as they say. I will be the first to tell you it's so easy to be like nah I got this and keep going, but it's kind of amazing what happens when you do slow down. So try it out. Let it be the time you meet yourself in another way and show up for yourself. When I started this journey it was around the time when I also started therapy, which you can read how it changed my life here. All I am saying there's many layers in discovering who you are and it's an ever evolving process, but it's also really fun. There's ups and downs to facing all parts of you because there is highs and lows but you know what I like who I am becoming through it. I like who I am discovering despite a whole lot of ugly I didn't like myself. Facing that is not always easy but I feel free of so many negative emotions and thoughts I used to carry and am learning to love myself whole heartedly and it's because I slowed the fuck down (pardon the language :P). Now I see very clearly that the life I am living is seriously beautiful. The people I have and the people I meet they're amazing. My friend said it best when I expressed something to her the other day "You have reached your own personal nirvana." It's blissful and other times it's rough. Everyday it's something new but this whole "living in the flow" thing is bliss even when shit hits the fan (which trust me still does). My wish for you is to experience a high vibin life so you can connect with your true you! Not the mask you put on everyday to get through the day and maybe you don't do this but I want you to ask yourself... is this all that I am or is there more to discover? I think the answer is always yes. I will not tell you how to live your life BUT I will say we humans are special in so many ways so connect with yourself even when you think you have it all figured out you might be surprised! 

Which brings me to meditation and how it's what really slowed me down. We all have overactive brains and shutting them off sometimes feels impossible. The whole let's escape reality for a moment sounds great, but how do we get there? Practice. Practice. Practice. This will look different for everyone. I started by making a small commitment because I knew small changes make a huge difference in the long run. You want your habits to be implemented, so start small so you don't get overwhelmed or feel defeated with the time you have to dedicate. I started with one night a week strictly dedicated to sitting in silence with myself. No phone, tv, or music. Nothing that could distract my brain any further than it was. I started with 5 minutes. Oh my goodness it was rough, it was uncomfortable, and it required so much discipline I clearly did not have. To just sit with yourself back then for me was kind of torture. Which looking back today is why it was extra important to do this for myself. I continued and at one point I didn't think it mattered so I stopped and then I realized woah those 5 minutes were actually something I started to crave. Just silence. I eventually got to the point where I could let my thoughts go, some people say that with meditation it's about acknowledging what comes up and then as quick as it comes into the mind you let it pass and go by. The goal for me was to be there and only be focused in on my breath. I wanted to stop thinking about what my daily life was or what I had to do next. It was my time to just be with myself. It's also when my true vision for my blog came to be and here I am. Making my life happen in however I choose and believing in myself which honestly to some of you might seem like a blank duh statement, but to be so comfortable in my body and my choices was not always the case for me. Today I am so clear on who I am, who I want to be, and how I want to show up in this world for me and everyone around me. It's also why I am here to tell you that you can do it too!

Take a moment to reflect for a second what your ideal meditation practice would be and set yourself up for success. You can choose to do it the way I did and pick one night to do it. My entire ritual consists of making myself dandelion or sleep tea to relax my body, I shower or take a quick bath, put my favorite lotion and muscle balm on, take a few deep breaths, stretch, pick a favorite crystal, sometimes I write before hand, and then I just sit with my eyes closed. Everything before is to start helping calm my system and get into the headspace that it's time to chill. When I meditate now I just let whatever happen happen. To be honest I have had some interesting things come up, some really surreal moments of feeling like I went somewhere else, and all in all it's definitely just a time when I get really clear on things, when my creative energy flows at a high, and I can just be still in this world. So go out there and connect with yourself!! Don't think to much, start simple in what feels right to you and do it, I know you can :) 

Share below any comments or questions! I love seeing them. As always feel free to message me if you so wish. Have a beautiful day loves!

Xo,
Shay